OnE StEp CloSeR

One Step Closer to the edge...

Managing work and resources has like been a complete eye opener, a window into my own life, into the very heart of darkness that should be me...

And definitely the Heart of Darkness... A friend once told me about ACID. If you needed to go on an acid trip, the only thing to prepaer yourself for the trip is to free your mind, or it takes you to the other side of the world, the netherworld... Seriously, you don't really need to do it to really understand the impact of how a screwed up life weighs on you.
Its difficult to eat, sleep, meet with friends, to relax...its difficult to bloody answer calls, cos you know when you do that, you wouldn't want to talk and if you did, you'd sound like a grouch...well you'd sound like a grouch anyway.
when i took up this job, i knew i was gonna push myself, just to see how far i can go... i have gone far, i have pushed my limits... but i am not made for this stuff... i have made it look like i am the right person for the job... but it doesn't matter, cos inside you you know its not meant for you... and now, how i long for the numbness to fill my brains, my body, my very soul and take me one step closer to the wilderness, i am way beyond the edge... have already jumped.
your mind has to be clear if you wanna do acid, or its gonna screw your brains out and freak you out like a horror show... i'd say, push your limits, take yourself one step closer to edge and you'll experience it...
what with managing your personal life, with all its demands... your professional life, with all its demands, your own life has its demands but no time left... aren't u already one too many steps closer to the edge... can we ever say, 'need time out for myself.' thats eutopian...
i am resigned and am gonna take it as it comes, i am done living the life i want... thats never gonna happen...
i am shackled waist down by relationships and waist up by work... i am gonna break soon and then it'll be too late to walk down the wilderness...
SAVE ME!!!